Hiding My Heart (Chapter 1, Secrets)
karevs_mcdream
A/N: Okay...this is just an idea that came into my head that I can’t seem to shake. So please tell me if the story sucks, cause I woke up this morning and just decided that I had to write it, when i should be updating my other fic, One And Only. So to be honest, I won’t mind if you tell me it sucks. Then I can be done with this story and focus on my other one :) Or, I can keep working on both. It’s your choice, so let me know what you think in the comments
Some background information on the story: Meredith is 3rd year at med school at UW, Derek and Mark are best friends who live together and they are 3rd year residents at SGH. Mark and Meredith are brother and sister, and they are really close because they had to stick together to deal with their crap parenting. Lexie is in the story, she is Mer’s friend and Alex is also Mer’s friend. Lexie is a year younger than Mer. Okay, I think thats all you need to know. Crap, this is a long A/N. I’m sorry. Enjoy.
P.S. Sorry, this update is short, but it felt like a good place to leave it at the end, so i’ll try to update again soon.

Meredith gave Derek one last kiss on the cheek before she climbed out of bed, grabbing her clothes off of the floor. He opened his eyes and watched her pull on her jeans, propping himself up on one arm. “Are you sure you have to go?” He asked, giving her a seductive look with his eyes and flashing her a winning smile. Meredith sighed. She definitely didn’t want to leave the gorgeous man lying in the bed beside her, but she knew she had to. “I have to leave before Mark wakes up, you know that.” She pulled her shirt over her head, and quickly raked her fingers through her hair, trying to no avail to comb out the tangles. Derek chuckled. “Sorry about your hair.” he said, trying to lighten the mood. Meredith smiled, remembering. “I’m not.” She said with an even bigger smile. “Plus, I have classes this afternoon. I haven’t done any study practically all week, and I need a nap, I don’t want to be falling asleep during my anatomy lecture.” “You could always nap here.” Derek said suggestively. “Again, you know I can’t. We’ve kept this a secret for so long, I don’t want my brother to find out and screw everything up. You know how he is, he’ll beat the crap out of you. And then his hand will be ruined so he won’t be able to operate and he’ll be even more pissed. Not to mention your face will be ruined to. Mark knows how to throw a punch.” Meredith’s mind automatically flashed back to the time when she was about ten when her alcoholic father had slapped her across the face for not buying alcohol when she and Mark went to the store. He had been about to punch her, when out of nowhere Mark swung Thatcher around to face him, and he punched him in the face giving him a black eye for a week. Meredith shook her head, hating her mind for taking her back to her horrific childhood. She once again thanked God for Mark, and hated herself for keeping secrets from him. Derek watched her facial expression change and he knew what she was thinking. Whenever she was thinking over her childhood her eyes would glaze over in a certain way and her mouth would fall from her usual smile to a hard line. “Mer, are you okay?” He said softly, but he didn’t think she heard him. A few moments later, she shook her head, and when she stopped moving her mouth was in a soft smile and her green eyes were sparkling as usual. “Huh? Did you say something?” She said when she noticed the expectant look on Derek’s face. “I just wanted to know if you’re okay. You got that look on your face...” Derek said softly, tilting his head to the side in a way that made her mind go blank for a second. “There wasn’t a look. There isn’t a look.” She said with a smile, leaning down to peck him on the lips.
 “Oh, and can I borrow that big anatomy book you have? It was really good when I was studying here yesterday.”
“Sure. Just keep it.”
“Really? It must have cost like $150.00. I just need to borrow it for this one class...” “Meredith, just take it. It’s not charity or anything, it’s a gift. Since you don’t like roses or anything else normal, just take the anatomy book.” He said with a cheeky smile.
“Okay, fine.” She said, giving him a small smile and twinkling her eyes in a way that made him want to pull her back down on the bed and kiss her until she couldn’t breathe. He was about to reach for her when she spun around.
“Was that a noise? I heard a noise upstairs...I really have to go now.”
“Mer, are you sure you can’t just stay down here while i make breakfast? Mark never comes down here, both his room, the kitchen and the lounge are upstairs. He has no reason to come down.”
“Nope. I’m leaving.” She said defiantly, grabbing her bag off the floor.
Derek dropped his shoulders in defeat. “I’ll call you?”
“You do that.” Meredith said with a wink. She turned around and walked out the door, hips swaying as if to purposefully taunt him. She quickly slipped out the back door, and walked down the hill and around to the next street to her parked car. She didn’t take any risks when it came to her and Derek’s relationship. She wouldn’t admit it to herself, but it meant so much to her that she would do pretty much anything to make sure Mark didn’t find out and ruin it.
She kept telling herself it was about the sex. But even she knew, deep down, that it was a lie. She smiled to herself, even just thinking about him. When did she become this soft, corny, gooey person who swooned over a guy who was older and pretty much off limits since he was her brothers best friend. This wasn’t her. She wasn’t like this. She was Meredith Grey, the best in her class, the one that was always out partying, having meaningless one night stands. Until that one night stand with Derek turned into two nights, and then three nights, and now she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She had always hated the type of girls who begged for attention from guys, the ones who fell in love with any guy who looked their way. She was not going to become one of them. She was going to break it off. Definitely. She was going to do it tomorrow. Feeling a sense of determination, she drove off, turning up her music till it was almost loud enough to drown out the thoughts of being without Derek.

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A/N: I hope Mer wasn’t too sappy at the end, I don’t want her to come off like that. Let me know what you think! :)

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